How to prevent asteroid-damage on aluminum boats ?

You know, asteroids from outer space like to hit boats, this is because of the secret energy fields under the sea and my boat in aluminum foil.

So what can I do to prevent asteroid-damage on my boat? Will an umbrella help?

-The only way to be 100% sure you will never be hit is with a device I invented. It is 1000.00 and has a life time double your money back guarantee if you get hit.

-Aluminum foil - wrap your boat in aluminum foil. Shiny side out. It reflects and focuses the sun's energy and repells all asteroids strikes.

-I keep my boat in a boatel. Even though many other boats are pelted by asteroids, mine never gets hit.

-Aluminum foil formed into a hat has also been known to deter all things extraterrestial.

-You left out something. The Aluminum foil hat MUST be pyramidal.

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